Ok can we talk about this whole shemail/shemale controversy business for a minute? Now I get that they screwed up with that mini-challenge. I cringed a bit when it first aired because I KNEW people were going to lose their shit over it, and I was right. I get that it was an insensitive thing to do, but I think the scale of the anger to it is very misplaced. I don’t think RuPaul has any problem with transgendered people, and I doubt that all the people involved on Drag Race intended to offend anyone either. I think they were right to apologize, but I think that this retroactive removal of all traces of the episode is bullshit. I’m not a fan of rewriting history to pretend that unpleasant things didn’t happen. I say apologize, but keep the episode as it is but maybe add a disclaimer to the beginning. Whatever though, the powers that be will do what they want. I’m pissed that we paid for a full season of this show though, and now we’re being stiffed on an episode. And I’m irritated that I’ll never be able to watch Shade: The Rusical again.
After last week’s elimination, the queens are feeling a little bad that Laganja left on such an unpleasant note. If you missed Untucked, Laganja lost her shit, almost literally after the girls confronted her about her fake personality. She stomped out of the Gold Bar barefooted, tore of her wig and had herself a good old cry in the hallway backstage. It was great! But the girls feel a little guilty that she sashayed away after that, without them getting a chance to clear the air with her. Oh queens, you’re all better people than I am. Luckily Bianca breaks the ice by being hilarious and the girls resume mimicking Laganja’s whining, and all is right with the world.
Ooh girl… you got… oh.
Sad. Let’s have a moment of silence shall we?
For some reason after the words of Ru, Adore thinks the queens are going to have to box one another. I’ve rewatched this shema… this mail several times and I still have no idea where Adore got that idea from. Maybe she just wants an excuse to punch a bitch?
Is Bianca the cutest queen out of drag that we’ve ever had on this show or what? I just want to eat her up!
It’s mini challenge time and the Scruff Pit Crew has grown in numbers, they’ve also grown in inches. Oh yes, I went there. I wonder if these are the same guys from last season’s “Whatcha’ Packin'” challenge, or do they just have an endless supply of perky muscled fellows itching to get on the show? They play a cute version of Hang Man called “Hung Man” where the queens have to guess phrases spelled out on the back of the hunk’s Scruff briefs.
DeLa proves to be the best after she guesses, “Butterface” and wins the challenge.
Even the supermodel of the world can be a butterface if you catch her at just the right moment.
DeLa wins a year’s supply of eyelashes, but no advantage in the main challenge.
For this week’s main challenge the queens are tasked with standing in for RuPaul in a brand new version of the RuPaul Show where they have to interview Chaz Bono, and Cher’s mother Georgia Holt. Of course the queens all squeal at this news.
Every queen that’s any queen loves anyone or anything that has to do with Cher. Courtney just cannot take it and tries to tear off her face.
While getting ready for the challenge the girls seem to collectively badmouth little Joslyn Fox. They all agree that Joslyn is the least polished of the queens remaining and think that she’ll be next to go home. I can’t say I disagree entirely, even though I do think Joslyn is adorable in her own clueless way.
RuPaul comes in to Tim Gunn the girls into submission and she asks Joslyn if she’s worked on her big opening. Girl EVERYONE has worked on Joslyn’s big opening. Joslyn wants to start off with a joke about Cher’s vagina and Cher coming out of a vagina. Sorry Joslyn, Alaska beat you to that joke last season.
The girls learn that Paula Abdul is going to be the additional guest judge on this episode and they all wet themselves.
Really queens? Is Paula that special? All I can remember of her is that crazy music video where she danced with that Chester Cheetah wannabe. The 80s were crazy y’all.
It’s time for the RuPaul Show!
There is an adorable opening sequence that we see far too little of, set to another one of my favorite RuPaul songs: Here it Comes Around Again (available on iTunes!).
Adore is first to interview the guests and she’s her typical Adore self. I love Adore, but her awkward sort of self-deprecating humor doesn’t really work well for a talk show host. It’s hilarious because Georgia Holt is trying to explain to her that she was a child during the depression and they had no money or food and Adore just does not get it. “I love it! Party!” Poor Chaz is just cringing the whole time.
On a side note, I kind of want to throw a depression party now. Only people with no job and no more than one pair of shoes can attend, and we could have fun party games like, “Who gets the bag of flour so your kids can eat tonight?” and “Picking cotton for 10 cents a day”.
Poor Ms. Bianca is clearly out of her comfort zone with this talk show format. She’s trying so hard to play the “hostess” role, and it just doesn’t suit her if she’s not calling out people for having tits that would make a hungry kitten cry or faces that would make Woody Allen feel pretty. Hilariously, she completely misses asking Georgia any questions and Cher’s mom is left sitting there like a third wheel. Oh Bianca, I guess there had to be one thing you weren’t phenomenal at.
It’s Trinity’s turn and she unfortunately keeps referring to Chaz as Chad. Oh dear. We actually don’t get to see very much of her interview, apart from her asking “Chad” whether he’d like to sleep with Angelina Jolie, Megan Fox or… someone else. Say “RuPaul”, Trinity! Don’t you remember what show you’re on? Sheesh.
Courtney is next and she kills it. I think she shines in this challenge even more than she did in the singing challenge. She has an easy and natural way with the guests and she also manages to be funny. Also I think Chaz kind of loves her.
Similar to Bianca, Darienne seems to have difficulty talking to people when she’s not insulting them. I had actually completely forgotten about her interview. I also think she looked kind of terrible. Did she just get off of a plane in Hawaii with the Brady Bunch?
What the FUCK is DeLa wearing? She looks like a reject from Faster Pussycat, Kill Kill (if you haven’t seen that movie yet, find it and do so RIGHT NOW hunties). Seriously though this is just a bad look for her. She usually looks so cute and polished and this whole getup is just so cheap looking. Luckily though, she has a fantastic rapport with the guests so maybe they won’t notice how busted she looks. DeLa is a real charmer, where was this queen when she was doing her comedy routine?
Joslyn opens up with a vagina joke more convoluted than the location of the G-spot and it just goes downhill from there. Literally the second thing Joslyn asks Georgia Holt is, “So you nearly had an abortion when you were pregnant with Cher, are you pro-life now?”
Holy fuck. Girl, did you seriously just ask the eighty-seven year old woman about the abortion she nearly had during the Eisenhower administration? I could maybe forgive this if Joslyn was fifteen years old, or rode on a short bus daily, but even that would be a stretch. Inappropriate doesn’t begin to cover it. Wow. Hilariously, Joslyn has a giant grin on her face the whole time poor Georgia is stuttering and stammering trying to figure out how to answer her. I think she really is just that clueless. That was a fail and a half.
As a side note, holy shit is Georgia really eighty-seven? Damn, let me look like that when I’m eighty-seven. Fuck let me look like that when I’m fifty-seven!
Ru looks glorious in this week’s gown, and I’m disappointed that none of the judges mentioned wanting to unwrap her.
The queens had to wear their best Animal Kingdom couture on the runway this week. Let’s see what these bitches managed to pull out of their menagerie’s.
Holy fuck are those Darienne’s actual nipples or is she wearing some chicken cutlets with nerps on them? Because damn, someone turn the heat up. Apart from serving milk, she’s also serving pachyderm realness in a grey gown and tusk earrings. It certainly is reminiscent of an elephant, but meh. It’s sort of like all of Darienne’s other looks. A whole lotta’ “whatever”.
Adore comes out in a cat suit and an over-sized headgear. Later on she says that she was going for some sort of panther look, but she just looks like a mess. Also slow the fuck down on the runway girl! I can’t get any good screengrabs of you!
Finally it’s that crazy outfit we saw way back in the first episode.
I’ve been wondering who this would be for ages. Initially I thought it must be Vivacious, then after she was eliminated I guessed Milk. It’s none other than BenDeLaCreme, in a fly costume!
How odd, this such a different look for her and I really can’t decide whether I love it or hate it. It certainly is different and surprising.
Bianca Del Rio is next in a leopard print dress and in my opinion it’s one of her weaker looks this season. Although she’s added a lot of interest by painting bits of her exposed skin with a matching leopard pattern, and her face looks gorgeous.
Joslyn Fox is wearing a zebra print skirt, and I guess that’s as close as she gets to channeling her inner animal kingdom. Then she whips off her skirt to expose some weird merkin, so I guess she’s actually serving pussy? This outfit sucks. Dude your name is Joslyn FOX, did you not think to create a fox-inspired little outfit for yourself? Seriously girl, creativity on the runway is obviously not her thing.
Trinity is wearing a gorgeously lavish bird outfit. The coloring is a bit turkey-ish, but it’s a very pretty and dramatic look. Trinity continues to impress on the runway. I’m liking this girl more than I ever imagined.
Here is another look we saw in the preview that I’m sure we’ve all been waiting for. It’s Courtney with a big-ass set of wings. The wings are very impressive, but other than that, the look is a little bit ho-hum for me. I get more angel than actual bird.
The judges critique Darienne but I can’t pay attention because all I see are boobies and nerps. I swear they’re LOOKING at me.
Adore’s wig is ratty, ratty, ratty and she can’t even talk in the weird mask she’s wearing.
She sounds like Butthead after he got his mouth wired shut by the dentist. Oh don’t be acting all high-brow, you know you watched that show.
Apparently Joslyn is a Glamazonian Warrior Princess who makes friends with animals and then skins them alive. So she’s Phi Phi O’Hara basically? I get it now. She gets reamed for the abortion comments during the interview and apologizes. Oh Joslyn, too little too late.
Chaz wants to fuck Courtney Act. It’s ok Chaz, you wouldn’t be the first straight guy she’s ever done.
The judges deliberate and Courtney and DeLa are clearly in the top, Bianca and Darienne are in the middle, while Joslyn, Adore and Trinity are the bottom. Joslyn also gets some flack for her “meaty” tuck.
I guess it is a little meaty.
Courtney Act wins, because she did a great job with the talk show, she had an impressive runway, AND at least one of the guest judges wants to fuck her. Congrats Courtney!
Adore is up for elimination? What the fuck people? She wasn’t nearly as abysmal as Joslyn “Abortion-Gate” Fox and Trinity “Chad” K. Bonet. Joslyn and Trinity deserved to be the bottom this week, Adore should have been safe. Joslyn is declared safe and I am bullshit. I love both Adore and Trinity and I don’t want to see either of those bitches go home. It should have been Joslyn in the bottom two with Trinity, and Trinity probably could have sent her home.
This is a lip synch to remember though. We know that Trinity is an amazing lip syncher, but Adore proves to be equally good. She even pulls out some flips and shit and I’m like, “What?!” The two of them start to get into it together a la Raja and Carmen Carrera and they are obviously such good friends and wanting to give their all for this lip synch.
They were evenly matched and it is a hard call, but Trinity has lip synched before, and this is Adore’s first time, so for probably that reason alone, Adore is told to shantay while Trinity has to sashay away. Aww. She is incredibly gracious and classy in her exit though, and there’s no better way for a queen to leave this competition. You’ve come a long way Trinity, I will miss you!
Until next week hunties!