Two episodes of Drag Race in just one night! It’s like Christmas, or some other merry shit!
The queens are all congratulating DeLa on Ru’s decision to have her shantay and stay along with Darienne. Poor DeLa is obviously shaken and her mascara is all runny from crying. I want to give her one of those hugs where you give the person a tight squeeze and rub their back. Like a grandma hug.
Courtney ruffles Darienne’s feathers a bit by saying that she was going to cause a riot and screech, “You’ve made the wrong decision!” if DeLa had been sent home. Oh no she betta’ don’t! Yeah I’m gonna use that until we’re all sick of it.
Laganja gets upset that all the talk is about DeLa and not about her and Adore winning the challenge. Boohoo bitch. You didn’t really win anyway. The Courtney and Joslyn drama also continues a bit and I just really don’t much care. Neither of these girls is going to win, so who is even paying attention?
The next day, back in the werkroom DeLa is so thrilled to be still in the competition that she brings back the leopard print shorts again!
Yay! I missed those.
Laganja is wearing a no smoking sign on her head and going on with her usual nonsense.
Of course Bianca has had enough of her.
Amen Ms. Bianca, amen.
Laganja is also wearing a shirt with her own frickin’ name on it. Who wants to bet that Laganja got a whole bunch of those made at her local airbrushing shop and handed them out to all her family and friends as Christmas presents?
It’s time for one of the more ridiculous mini-challenges ever on Drag Race, but it made me laugh so who gives a fuck? The queens are given assorted googly eyes and bits of fake hair and have to drag up their chins to look like faces, while lip synching upside-down to Ru’s “Get Your Rebel On”. One of my favorite RuPaul songs by the way, available on iTunes! You’re welcome Ru.
The results are ridiculous and hilarious.
Adore steals the show when her eyeballs almost immediately fall off her chin and she makes Ru pee her pants laughing.
Joslyn wins the world though, with her observation that Trinity’s chin looks like Vivacious. Maybe Vivacious was really Trinity’s chin all along?
That’s some Twilight Zone shit right there.
Joslyn’s chin is deemed the winner for who know’s what reason, and she also wins this week’s best, slightly-creepy blow-job face.
She looks like the world’s gayest Amish man. With eyeballs on his chin.
That’s something I never thought I’d see.
Ru lets the girls know that the main challenge will be to put on a comedy show and everyone will have to write and perform their own bit of stand-up. The contrast between Bianca and Trinity’s reactions to this is comedy gold itself.
It’s even funnier when you realize that they’re both THRILLED.
As the winner of the challenge, Joslyn gets to choose the order of how the queens will perform.
The girls all cozy up with their notepads and try to come up with some good comedy bits for their routines. I don’t envy them. Stand-up comedy is not easy to pull off, and you know some of these bitches are going to be terrible at it.
I think the strain of her near-elimination may have made DeLa lose it a bit because she’s talking to some sort of an imaginary friend while she works on her comedy routine. She’s starting to scare Adore, which is saying something.
Watch out DeLa, your cray-cray is showing!
Also, can we talk about how Adore totally stole her eyebrows from Mr. Spock?
Joslyn is struggling with her comedy writing because her idea of a great joke is asking customers if they’re allergic to oxymorons when they order jumbo shrimp. Oy. Joslyn also gets another saying wrong when she says comedy isn’t her “cup of soup”. She certainly is the “black horse” of this competition isn’t she?
Laganja is sitting under a table like a four year-old. Do I really need to say anything else about that?
You can tell Bianca just wants to give her a big ol’ slap. Maybe if I wish hard enough it will happen? Slap her for me Bianca, slap her for the world!
Hello, hello, hello! It’s Mr. RuPaul, ready to Tim Gunn the shit out of these queens.
Once again Ms. Trinity is being all shy and unsure of herself when Ru comes around and asks her if she knows any jokes. Her response is classic Trinity.
Then Trinity kind of breaks down in her talking head and I feel bad. You can do this girl! She was SO funny in the commercial challenge, I don’t know why she’s so insecure about her ability to act and perform something that isn’t a lip synch. Trinity needs to get all Stuart Smalley on herself.
Ru announces to the girls that the audience of their comedy show will consist of… senior citizens. Oh Ru, you shady lady. A bunch of stressed out drag queens trying to make old people laugh? Sign me up for that shit.
Joslyn has decided the order of the show, and it’s going to be Darienne Lake, Courtney Act, Adore DeLano, BenDeLaCreme, Laganja Estranja, Trinity K. Bonet, Joslyn Fox, and Bianca Del Rio. Seems pretty good to me, two strong comedy queens to start and end the show, and all the other ones in the middle somewhere.
The girls primp for the show and Joslyn tells a sweet story about how her grandparents love her and have always supported her, especially her grandpa. Aww. My fondest memory of my grandpa is him trying to pull my loose tooth out when I was six. I guess we can’t all have cutesie grandpa stories.
Ru is a VISION in black and red.
Bruce Vilanch wants to pollinate her. That ain’t right.
Darienne is the show opener, and for all her bitchiness, she IS danged funny. Very self-deprecating but it’s happily not all fat jokes. Her joke about the old people coming in on the Ark is pretty hilarious.
Next is Courtney Act and oh dear, she is trying her best. She works a song into her routine because she realizes she is not a comedian and at least singing is something she CAN do. It feels a bit cheap though.
Darling Adore is next in a pint-sized Mexican hat and she is her usual self, which unfortunately doesn’t work quite so well for stand-up. She drops a ton of f-bombs and talks about big cocks and the poor little old mens and ladies are a bit appalled. Don’t ever change Adore. Let’s get slurpies at 7-11 and you can drop f-bombs as much as you like. I’ll never judge you!
DeLa is next and she starts off pretty funny and quirky but then she kind of goes downhill. She makes some funny jokes about Seattle being like a lady’s nether-regions, but she says them so fast that they seem to be totally lost on everyone. Poor DeLa, she eventually gets heckled by someone who I think is Jinx’s veteran that she had to drag up last season. Am I right here?
It’s Laganja’s turn and she is just tragic. Let’s leave it at that.
Trinity is next and she is… surprisingly great! Where the fuck has this queen been the whole time? She has a natural rapport with the audience and she is really funny! She makes the joke of the night for me when she talks about how the only sustenance she and her sisters’ had was listening to their mother read a cookbook, and how her sister starved to death when she got an ear infection. Trinity, I salute you girl!
Joslyn starts off funny with an ADD joke, but then it goes downhill from there. Poor sweet girl. She’s the sort who is unintentionally funny, but cannot be intentionally funny.
The end of the show comes and it’s Bianca’s turn and she just slays it. She has everyone eating out of her hand from the start, and just kills it the whole way through. It’s no surprise that comedy is her thing. Girl is amazing. I love her even more!
Darienne, Trinity and Bianca get praise from the judges. Adore and Courtney appear to be middle of the pack. They read the riot act to DeLa, Laganja and Joslyn. Laganja especially gets torn a new one as they criticize her for her affected voice and mannerisms, and for just not being funny. Laganja is all defensive and clearly just does NOT GET IT. She is so delusional, if she weren’t so annoying, I’d feel a bit sorry for her.
Trinity and Ru have a moment where Ru congratulates her for finally breaking out of her shell and stopping the self-sabotage. Ru is proud of her little drag baby. Aww.
Unsurprisingly, Ms. Bianca Del Rio is the winnah!
Go on girl!
I believe she’s now the second queen to win two challenges after BenDeLaCreme. She’s deserved to win other challenges before, but for this challenge there was just no other choice. That bitch IS comedy.
Laganja and Joslyn are the bottom two and while Laganja looks resigned to her fate…
Joslyn kind of looks like she wants to cut a bitch.
The lip synch begins and Laganja immediately tosses away her big pink afro. At least she’s wearing a short black and purple wig underneath and not her own hair, but it still looked a little cheap. Joslyn is working it though, and when Laganja goes to drop into her signature split, suddenly Joslyn jumps into a full split as well, totally stealing Laganja’s fire.
I literally yelled at the television, “Ha ha! SUCK it Laganja!” Shortly after, Laganja does a death drop and it just reeks of desperation. Joslyn just has more fire and confidence during this lip synch and it’s no surprise when Ru tells Laganja to sashay away. Bye-bye Laganja. I won’t miss you, you whiny bitch.
Gosh, now that Laganja is gone, the only person I really want to see go is Darienne. Although she was much less mean to DeLa this episode, so maybe I can give her a second chance. Apart from her, I genuinely like all of these queens. These next weeks are going to be emotional y’all!
Until next week hunties!