So the premiere episode of season 6 of RuPaul’s Drag Race was… I have to be honest, underwhelming. Ru decided to split up the premiere into two episodes, so we only got to meet seven of the total fourteen queens. I can understand the decision to split things up so that we could pay more attention to the queens, but I was left wanting more. Of course much hilarity was still had by all, but RuPaul’s Big Opening left me feeling a bit empty inside after it was all over.
My initial impressions of the queens changed quite a lot from the Meet the Queens teaser. Let’s meet them again shall we?
Adore Delano showed up looking like this…
I do kind of adore her. I’m a sucker for a girl with a flower in her hair, and I love the red and aquamarine combo. She’s like a modern tattooed version of a sexy pinup girl from the 50s and I love that updated retro look. I’m afraid to say though that I think her spoiled brat way of talking may not be an affect after all. I still love you Adore.
Then Ben de la Creme came in like a Mormon ready to talk to a group of problem teenagers about abstinence.
Enthusiasm appears to be her biggest talent. I do find her kooky personality fun at the moment, but it could get old really fast. She’s another drag queen who seems so much older as a woman than she does as a man. Girl is only 31 but she looks like she could have played beer pong with Phyllis Diller back in the day. I’m just sayin’.
Then Gia Gun walks in with a purse the size of Octomom’s vagina…
Which made Adore and Ben do this…
This is why I live for this show. Gia Gunn was more fun and bitchy than I thought she would be, but she still needs to grow on me a bit more. I just get irritated with the girls who automatically think they’re the best because they’re the most fishy. Girl is fishy as fuck though, I’ll admit it. People probably try to squeeze lemons on her in restaurants.
Next comes Laganja Estranja who looks COMPLETELY different from her Meet the Queens video. Seriously, when she walked in I said, “Who the fuck is that?” Once she immediately did a death drop though, I realized she must be “the dancer”. Isn’t there always one of them?
Sorry girl, but after six seasons of this, it’s just not that impressive anymore. She does have amazing legs though, and I actually found her style quite cute, both as a girl and as a boy. I still think she’s going to be a bitch though.
Next comes April Carrion, as possibly the world’s first drag paratrooper.
The look is a bit, “Wha?” But I suppose I can’t fault her for originality. April is MUCH more cute than she appeared to be in her Meet the Queens segment. She’s gorgeous as a woman and cheek-pinchingly adorable as a guy. She also showed a lot more personality which made me happy. I was disappointed to think that our only Puerto Rican queen was going to be a drag dud.
In walks Miss Kelly Mantle, looking like an extra straight out of a production of Grease.
Our last queen for the day was Vivacious, and what a way to end. She comes out looking like a reject prop from Battlestar Galactica. The OLD Battlestar Galactica.
The girls settle in and are all confused by Mama Ru’s premiere fuckery, and the fact that there will only be seven girls competing during the first round. The Shade of it All!™ (Love you Latrice!)
In Drag Race tradition, the season’s first mini-challenge is a photo shoot with Mike Ruiz. It’s always fun when Mike Ruiz is around. Mike and Ru have been friends for years and their back and forth with one another is worth more than gold. We’re also introduced to two new members of the pit crew. Meh. I’m not sure how I feel about this. When we were introduced to Shawn and Jason many seasons ago, we got to see their audition tapes and got to know them a bit. Having these two other boys just kind of tossed into the mix seems pretty odd to me. Although one of the boys is packing MAJOR heat, so I think I have an inkling why Ru chose him. Especially now that we know about Ru’s big opening.
This season’s photo shoot has the queens leaping from a platform and falling into a big vat of foam blocks. Mike Ruiz tries to capture them giving both face and body while in midair. The results are understandably hilarious. Especially when Vivacious took her turn and did this…
Predictably, Laganja Estranja wins the photoshoot since her dancer’s grace made her the queen who looked the least terrible jumping into a big vat of foam. Yay Laganja!
For the main challenge the queens have to make a garment inspired by a popular television show. Laganja assigns the shows to the different queens and they get hard to work burning themselves and others with their glue guns. We get the usual bitching from the queens who can’t sew (“I don’t know how to sew!”) and from the queens who can sew (“girl don’t you WATCH this show?”). Moving on.
Runway! Ru looks particularly gorgeous for this first runway.
Gia Gunn comes out in her Keeping up with the Kardashian’s creation.
Next is April Carrion in her Duck Dynasty getup.
This was pretty good I suppose given what she had to work with which was apparently literally just a bag of crap. I never knew that shit could flow like fabric. I’ll forgive her for her misuse of the word literal though, she’s adorable and I know English isn’t her first language.
Next is Laganja Estranja in her Dancing With The Stars outfit and I really start to think that maybe I need to start watching more television because I don’t know shit about any of these shows.
Oh Kelly Mantle. I love you, but this look was shit. She was supposed to be interpreting Downton Abbey through her drag, but all I got was Downtown Sacramento. I’ve never even been to Sacramento, I don’t know what I’m saying. This look was so busted it destroyed all my sense of geography. And the wig, that terrible wig. I’ve seen better hair results from one of Tyra Banks’s makeovers, and that’s saying something.
Adore wound up with Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. I’ve never watched the show (not having cable does have it’s benefits), but this certainly looks like something inspired by a spoiled bratty pageant kid cracked out on go-go juice.
This is Vivacious’s creation for Game of Thrones. I seriously haven’t seen any of these shows. I am an out-of-touch old bitch. She’s got some sort of a crow strapped to her arm for some reason. I don’t even know what to say about this. I think the only weirder thing we’ve seen on the runway was when Shangela dragged a whole frickin’ snowman down with her.
Last but FAR from least we have the delightful Ben de la Creme who is tasked with channeling the Golden Girls.
Bitch nailed it. This was the clear winner and it was heads and tails above everyone else’s. The best part, Ben can’t sew, girl still turned that mother-fucker out. Plus she had cheesecake. Cheesecake always wins.
The judges deliberate and it’s a clear win for Ben de la Creme, congratulations you saucy old gal! Very well-deserved. We learn that there will be no immunity for winners this season, which I think is an awesome twist. No more queens skating by after wins!
The cameras focused so much on Adore and her Honey Boo Boo look that I thought for sure that the bottom two were going to be her and Kelly. I was surprised when the bottom two were selected and it was Kelly and Vivacious. They both gave a relatively subdued lip synch to a song that I can’t even remember. Kelly just seemed to be going through the motions though and it was no surprise when she was told to sashay away. She was funny and gracious in her going-away speech though, and hilariously advised, “Don’t wear bacon.” I am sad that this is all that we will see of her, she had a witty persona and it would have been great to see her in Snatch Game as Carol Burnett.
Next week, MILK! And some other queens. I kid, I can’t wait to see them all!